Pope Joke - Did you hear what happened when the Pope went to Mt. Olive? Yeah, Popeye beat the Hell out of him!




It's certainly no joke the adultery against God, Jesus Christ, and The Holy Ghost the Catholic church has, and still is committing. It's no wonder the Bible calls her "The Great Whore of Babylon."

The roots of Catholicism are directly linked with Satan's throne and religion in Babylon. The mother worshiping (Mariolatry),  fertility festivals (Easter), cannibalism (The Sacrament of eating Christ's flesh and drinking his blood), and the celebrating of a bastard child born December 25th (Christ-MASS) named Tamus, have all made their way in to "Christian" traditions as Satan has most assuredly corrupted the scriptures and the Good News of the Gospel with his repugnant, vile and blasphemous version of Christianity. 

The "Vicar of Christ" is nothing more then the prototype of the Antichrist that will come looking like, acting like and calling himself Jesus Christ, and will be accepted by millions of delusional followers of the catholic church and her bastard daughters that have started many religious off-shoots mostly called Christian.

The bottom line is most "Christians" are in one form or another worshiping and promoting the Idolatry handed down by Babylon through the Catholic traditions.   And that's nothing to laugh at!


The Pope Is A Joke!

"Gooood...fresh...communion hosts..."

The oldest Pope Joke is his definition:

The Pope (from Latin: papa, Papa, father; is the Bishop of Rome and the spiritual leader of the Roman Catholic Church. He is believed by Catholics to fulfill this role as the Successor of Saint Peter, making him Vicar of Christ. 




Vatican Inc.

Under Pope Benedict the Vatican has trebled its profits and now makes over 60% of its gross annual income from merchandising alone. As God forego a lump sum and gave the Bible publishing rights to Steve Guttenburg in 1972, instead requesting a percentage of each unit sold, he amassed over $180,000,000 in the following decade alone. This, together with the release of the New Testament, the Old Old Testament, the Old New Testament, Testament Times New Roman collectors edition, New Testament of Sgt. Columbo, the bonus edition with the 3rd secret of Fatima and a prologue by Anthony Hopkins and recently the Bible Uncut: What the Gideons Didn't Want You to Know has kept this revenue stream alive.


President Clinton and the Pope died on the same day, and due to an administration foul up, Clinton was sent to heaven and the Pope to hell. The Pope explained the situation to the Devil. He checked out all of the paperwork, called the Pearly Gates admitting office, and the error was acknowledged. The Pope was told, however, that it would take about 24 hours to fix the problem. The next day the Pope was called in, the Devil said his good-bye, and he began his journey to heaven. Along the way, he met Clinton, who was on his way down. They stopped to chat. The Pope said, "Sorry about the mix-up. By the time you get to hell, it's really too late to save any souls." Clinton replied, "No problem. I'm sure I'll be with more familiar company down below, anyway." The Pope continued, "Well, I'm really excited about going to heaven." "Why's that?" Clinton asked. "All my life I've wanted to meet the Virgin Mary," the Pope replied. "Oh," said Clinton. "I'm afraid you're a day late."


The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available.

He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, and spends the next eon or so learning the languages. After becoming a linguistic master, he sits down in the library and begins to pore over every version of the Bible, working back from the most recent "Easy Reading" to the original script.

All of a sudden there is a scream in the library. The angels come running to him, only to find the Pope huddled in a chair, crying to himself, and muttering, "An 'R'! They left out the 'R'."

God takes him aside, offering comfort and asks him what the problem is. After collecting his wits, the Pope sobs again, "It's the letter 'R' ... the word was supposed to be CELEBRATE!"


A drunk man flops down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie is stained, his face is smeared with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin is sticking out of his coat pocket. He opens a newspaper and begins reading.

After a few minutes the guy turns to the priest and asks, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?" The disgusted priest answers: "Loose living, wicked women, too much alcohol, and contempt for your fellow man."

"I'll be damned!" the drunk mutters, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he said, nudges the man and apologizes: "I'm very sorry; I didn't mean to be so harsh. How bad is your arthritis?"

"Oh, I don't have it," replies the man; "It says here that the Pope does."


GOOD NEWS: Pope Benedict XVI is doing well after undergoing surgery for a broken wrist suffered from an apparent overnight fall in his room at his Alpine vacation chalet.

BAD NEWS: The general public never gets to learn the names of Altar Boys who are successful in fending off the "HAND OF GOD."

Benedict XVI
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Seen here with his Weapon of Mass Instruction.

I'm going to make you an offer you can't refuse. Full dental.
~ God to Mr. Ratzinger

God wills it.
~ Pope Urban II on Being a Total Dick

It can be said the Pope commands the largest army on earth, that is, the CATHOLIC ARMY! BWAHAHAHAHA....
~ Pope Pius XVI, when asked to comment on The Crusades

They aren't so bad, once you get to know them.
~ Pope Benedict XVI on Jews

Pope Benedict XVI, aka Mr. Ratzinger, aka His Holiness, aka Cardinal Sin (on Friday nights down at The George) is the Godfather's No.2 man and earth representative. He is responsible for handling his business interests, priest watching and infernal affairs and other matters of a flaming nature. He also cleans up after the Godfather's incompetent son who has taken a back seat role since getting himself crucified and who has diplomatic immunity in certain countries. His predecessor was smote down by the Godfather as he was getting a bit too big for his Gucci boots. Pope Benedict was brought forth when the coven of bishops got together for a secret circle jerk of ancient fluids and from the ensuing smoke and dust the new Pupae emerged to take care of things, you catch my drift? Boo ya!!!

Brief Introduction

Pope Benedict has done great PR by replacing the old "baptism by fire" with the newer "head wetting" routine. This has also led to an increase in population. He is considered a genius and is able to play the piano while speaking 7 languages far exceeding the job requirements of English and at least one other European language. He is yet to master the language of love.

Famous racist and Irishman The Pope is the tallest man in the world.

He is considered to be a master of the Dark Arts, especially in the ways of the Sith. He is a Level 3 Sith Lord and is considered very dangerous. He killed a trainee while teaching him due to the lackey's lack of appreciation when he called Benedict "Lord of the Shit!" He ment it as a joke but Darth Benedict wasn't laughing that day. The ashes of his trainee were used as an Herbal Tea for the sick.

Jesus? Jesus smesus! lol!


Pope Benedictyl was born in approximately Strafford upon an Avon catalogue his mother was reading at the time. By the age of 12 he was competing in local genuflection tournaments, and before he was 30 he had won the national transubstantiation championship for a record-breaking four consecutive years. Known to be especially deadly with a censer, Benedict is a level 115 cleric. These incredible achievements did not go unnoticed and the precocious 40-year-old was fast tracked through the Papal Academy of Potential Popes, PAPS. While there he developed a friendship with Carol Waytojoyola. However Carol was way cooler and more fun and after he was voted 'Most likely to Succeed' they became rivals. His mother is known to start every sentence with the phrase 'my son the pope'. For example, 'My son the pope likes a pain au chocolat every morning. What times the next bingo bus?'. They have not spoken for 7 years. She has his phone number but he answers only to God. His father runs a pub in Doolin, the Dew Drop Inn, and will not speak about his son.

Pope Benedict is rumored to be building a Sanctuary somewhere on Mars. He would like to live there if he were sent in exile by the U.N.

Benedict renamed Vatican City Couresaunt after the capital of the Old Galactic Republic, but was changed to "Shitsvile" after Jedi Master George Lucas filed a lawsuit against the Unholy One and won. Benedict has declared Lucas an enemy of the state.

Pope Benedict declared war against other religions of the world and planned an invasion of Salt Lake City, Utah. On September 18, 2008, the invasion was thwarted by a small group consisting the remaining memebers of the Jedi Order, the X-Men, the Justice League, Hellboy, Bill Clinton, Pee Wee Herman, and members of the New York Metropolitan Opera. This was Popeatine's worst defeat in many a millenia.


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